Dear Sir or Madam,
Our names are Andrea Olazabal, Pilar Granda and Adriana Astrada. We work as English Teachers in public secondary schools. We think that nowadays there is not a TV programme which makes young adults feel identify with, so we want to propose you a project of a TV show related to teenagers´ interests.
The idea we have in mind is about a TV quiz show in which ten adolescents have to answer questions concerned with music. The show could be called `Music Factor´. The questions will be asked by a TV presenter and they will be about: the albums, the singers, musicians, specific dates, details and some other important information about the bands. In several cases the young adults will listen to a song or look at a picture in order to answer the questions.
The competition will have three series of twenty questions each. Teenagers will be evaluated by three judges and after each sequence, they will tell the participants the results of their answers. By the end of the last series, there will be nine loosers and a winner, who will be the one that will get the majority of right answers.
A good prize could be spending a day with his/her favourite music band and being a special guest in their concert in Argentina.
We are looking forwards for your reply as soon as possible.
Faithfully,
Andrea, Adriana and Pilar.
9 comments:
I think you should increase the degree of formality because you don't know the addressee and you want to present your ideas as a serious proposal. For example, a phrase such as " The idea we have in mind is about" sounds a bit colloquial to me. In addition, I suggest that you introduce the name of the show, the prize and general content of the show as already decided by you (pay attention to the modals). Although, the whole project is going to be evaluated by the potential producer and it can be subject to modifications, you should covert all the aspects of the show in a previous analysis and offer your ideas in this letter with conviction and confidence. In a future interview, you will have the opportunity to discuss further details and exchange your opinions.
Florencia's comment is good but there some aspects that need to be clarified when it comes to the description of the tv show. I mean, don't you think sixty questions each program is by far too much? And why is the purpose of the three judges if the winner is the person who has the majority of right answers?
Other aspects are OK to me, so pay attention to the ideas.
I like the idea. It would be great if the prize could also be related to edication (apart from the one that you propose) For example economical support to study any career the participants want to, connected with music or not.
GISELA KOVAL
I agree with both Florencia and Agustín.
Regarding format, as Florencia points out, the layout is not the aproppriate one. Truth be told, we were not taught how to write formal letters, but at this stage in TTC, a bit of research is required.
As to content, I think Agustín is right, sixty questions is too much. Don't forget that teenagers can get bored very easily and high rating is necessary for any TV show to be successful.
Hi everyone! I think Flor is right when she says certain expressions are not the appropiate ones on these kind of letters. Also, the use of the modal COULD in the following sentence: The show could be called `Music Factor´, sounds to me is allowing the reader to participate and decide if the name for the TV show is ok or not, when you are supposed to have this decided and need just to persuade the reader with it. Not sure if you understand my point. Finally, Agustin's point concerning the judges is no doubt questionable, what for? Hope you don't take this the wrong way, I'm just criticizing constructively!=)
HI GIRLS!!
i AGREE WITH ALL OF MY PARTNERS!!
BUT IT WAS A GOOD TRY!
CONGRATS!
LAURA DAMBOLENA
I really like the idea of a TV quiz for teenagers. I think is entertaining and it would engage adolescents. However, I think it would be more appropriated to reduce the amount of questions and, as Gisela pointed out, the prize for the winner could be related to education. For example giving the school money to repaired building’s damages or to buy things the school needs.
Girls! I really like the idea, but I think you have to attach to some degree of formality when writing this kind of letters.You should avoid colloquialism even if you know the adresee becouse it is suppose that it is an important project to be evaluated by the CEO of a TV Channel. I agree with Agustin about the judges and the number of question It's too long! Anyway, NICE TRY!
Hi,girls!I agree with the fact that the letter lacks of formality because when writing we have to take into account who is the addressee, if not, the reader won’t take it as serious as it is. I also agree with the amount of questions but I’d like to know what the questions will be about because you should remember that the contestants will be teenagers and also the audience and that’s an important matter. Who are going to be the judges? If it is a show connected to music, maybe the judges can be famous musicians so teenagers can follow their idols. Having said this, I think that the show is a good idea so congrats on that!
Cristian Matas.
Post a Comment